Wednesday, September 03, 2008


In lieu of sticking pencils in my ears, I've decided to drink my way through tonight's festivities. Unfortunately, I cannot seem to drink fast enough.

The Unbearable Whiteness of Being

Since my return from Hilton Head Island earlier this summer, I have been trying to figure out a way to present/write this post. Fortunately, the Republican National Convention has given me just the platform. I am embarrassed. I am embarrassed by my ethnicity. I understand this is really difficult ground to tread without discharging numerous racial mines, so please bear with me. What I am mainly disillusioned by is our (meaning the white population) inability to embrace the changing ethnic landscape that this country is undergoing. It is my true hope that the 2008 RNC in St. Paul is the last time I have to look at a crowd filled completely with aging, out of touch Caucasians rallying for other aging out of touch Caucasians who are advocating a platform that supports only aging out of touch Caucasians. Seriously, I wonder how many of the delegates in attendance have taken a good look around their communities lately. Because, if they had, they would have to be a little shaken by the fact that the people in attendance with them in St. Paul bear little resemblance to those that they run across in everyday life at the convenience store, or dry cleaners, or grocery store, or dentists’ office. I know that the dems supposedly occupy the elitist ground in this country, but we all know that position is theirs solely because of the likes of Karl Rove and his minions. I defy anyone to spend a week in Hilton Head or Kiawah and tell me which party is the party of the elite.

Full Disclosure: I am part Native American, so maybe this post is nothing but sour grapes.

Monday, September 01, 2008

In which I Attempt to Tie the News Ticker to the Ruination of our Society

I am asking for an immediate moratorium on the news ticker or tracker or whatever the fuck you want to call the thing that crawls along the bottom of every channel on the teevee telling me all I need to know about complex stories in a simple 6 word sentence. Enough already, this piece of crap is ruining the world. For Exhibit A, just look at the current coverage of the election in this country. We are bombarded with tidbits about the look of the set that Barack is going to speak from, yet very little about the actual content of the speech. We concern ourselves with the chai-ification of the snobbish dems, yet do not even hash out the details of Obama’s even handed economic plan. I firmly believe that the news ticker has killed our ability to reason and analyze information as it is presented to us. And furthermore, it has helped squeeze those stories and situations that need reason and analysis off the teevee screen and pages of the newspaper only to be replaced by mind-numbing minutiae that fits the 6 word formula.

Even worse is the type of journalism and journalist that has been spawned by our need to diffuse every story into 6 words. In a time when a myriad of issues need to be sorted out regarding the dismal state of this country both here and abroad why should I ever have to see Dan Abrams on my television spouting completely irrelevant commentary? Seriously Dan, are you a political/legal reporter or a gossip columnist? Judging from the fact you were recently dumped from prime time and from every bit of work you have done in your miserable life, I’m gonna stick with gossip columnist for now. Dan, it is called nuance. Remember there are varying ways to report Paris’s panty-less nights amongst the glitterati and the hypocrisy of McCain’s claims to support a living wage or minimum wage increases. Just decide which one you want to handle, but please stop combining the two. I understand our political discourse in this country is stupid, but could we attempt to inject some sort of rational thought into it. The stakes are far too high.

The Skepticism of a Skeptic

As the days continue to pass and all is calm on the good ship Townser, I continue to become less skeptical of my skepticalness of the direction this thing is headed. Somehow, someway, it is working with someone. She has helped to restore happiness to a veritable wasteland of depression, remorse, embarrassment, and borderline hatred. Now, just don’t blow it you shithead.

Things I Learned from my Kids this Summer

I learned that they have absolutely no concept of “old” cameras that actually have film in them. My 6 year old was truly baffled as to how the pictures were going to be retrieved from the camera’s innards; “Dad, I need you to help me get the pictures out. How are we going to do it?”

I also learned that they are good, well adjusted kids. Watching them interact with other kids of similar ages was reassuring. They seemed very comfortable in their own skin and all exuded their mother’s extreme calmness. And, of course, they are extremely, and I mean, EXTREMELY smart.

I learned that they are cool. Despite the fact that my middle child has the Jonas Brothers on her iPod, she still reacted by saying, “Thank you. Thank you very much”, when an Elvis impersonator reached out to shake her hand.

I re-learned just exactly how much I miss them and how much I need them in my life. My house seems so fucking empty without them not to mention the emptiness inside me.