Saturday, December 23, 2006

All Aboard!!!

I think his train has left the station. Yep, I’m pretty sure it finally happened. Does he actually live in the same world that I do? Does he actually see the same things that I do on a daily basis? Sometimes my friends’ question whether or not I live in a reality based world. My response is that I certainly do. Seriously, now I need to ask you, do you? Are you grounded? Are you drinking the Kool-Aid? Are you smoking that glass dick? I see the numbers. I am out there every day. It is not working. We are not making progress. We might be stuck in a quagmire. We might be in a long, hard, slog. Certainly, the best response is not to “stay the course” or throw more money at the problem. Why do you fail to see these things? Why do you continue to resist the obvious? Is it because you are unstable? Is it because you are chemically imbalanced? Or is it that you are so firm, so unwavering in your beliefs that it would literally cause your brain to implode if you were to admit that you were wrong in your current course of action? Whatever the case, I think I need to put my resumé together.

Friday, November 10, 2006

Glad and Sorry

I often think, and sometimes write about the pained duality of existence. How it is possible to experience amazing things while at the same time feeling tortured. After seeing my favorite band (Drive By Truckers) a couple of weeks back cover the song Glad and Sorry by The Faces the familiar bittersweet ache returned to prominence in my thought cycle. Here are the lyrics:

Thank you kindly
For thinking of me
If I’m not smiling
I’m just thinking

Glad and sorry
Happy or sad
When all is done and spoken
You’re up or I’m down

Can you show me a dream
Can you show me one that’s better than mine
Can you stand it in the cold light of day
Neither can I

I certainly understand that to live is to feel pain and that life is not fair and that bad things happen to good people and every other cliché is appropriate, but I still cannot accept them as valid. I believe that it is this level of understanding that validates my atheist beliefs. Why is my relationship with Jill better than it ever was when we were married? Why is every moment I spend with my children agonizingly beautiful yet stunningly painful?

The last week of my life has been a portrait of this “Glad and Sorry” type thought cycle. I saw the kids and Jill for the first time in several months and we had a great dinner. We all drove back to their house singing songs from a favorite album (Son Volt-Trace) whether or not we knew the words. The next day I took my son to buy hockey gear which to me was infinitely satisfying because of my love for the sport. But, several hours later I was driving away from their house, north on I-75 with tears streaming down my face. Glad and sorry.

Later that afternoon I arrived in the garden spot known as Ft. Wayne, Indiana for the wedding of an old friend. As I got off the elevator trying to find my room, I came face to face with an old friend from San Francisco and instantaneously life was “glad” again. Over the course of the next two days I enjoyed numerous meaningful conversations with like minded individuals and honest discourse about the state of our country and our place in the world. The wedding ceremony was surreal as I sat in a Catholic church and watched as virtually no one participated in the songs and prayers. Maybe things in this country are not as bleak as they seem? Then my eyes were drawn to the woman in front of me who had been shaking with the tics and quivers of Parkinson’s for the last 45 minutes. I nudged my friend Mike and offered that Dear Leader should be forced to sit next to her and then somehow justify his fundamentalist beliefs that disallow stem cell research and discount science. “Sorry” returned. After the ceremony I saw Jill’s college roommate for the first time in several years. She looked great and seemed so grounded and self-assured. Back to “Glad”. The evening ended far too quickly and the hangover started way too early. Goodbyes were brief and the drive back to Mom’s basement was long. Of course I left feeling both glad and sorry.

FYI-Photo is a wreath of Bittersweet

Sunday, September 17, 2006

Your Liberal smugness, My Corporate Oversight

Wow, it must have been a slow news week if George Will is breaking out the liberal smugness column (What’s Really Wrong With Liberals Today? 9/16). While the country recognizes the 5th anniversary of 9/11, violence in Iraq escalates, and the march to war with Iran gains steam, Mr. Will chooses to admonish Liberals for suggesting that Wal-Mart and Coca-Cola have less then stellar business practices. Mr. Will, what you see as liberal smugness, I see as corporate oversight. It is very evident that the current administration bows to corporate demands and will do little to curtail corporate malfeasance. What exactly is wrong with pointing out that Wal-Mart is consistently a low wage provider and that they provide few of their employees with health insurance by limiting work hours? What is wrong with suggesting that Wal-Mart buyers bully their suppliers or that Coke might be responsible for abusing the environment? These issues are worth discussing whether it is a Liberal or Conservative who initiates the conversation. As for Wal-Mart’s impact on the economy, the dollars saved by Wal-Mart’s shoppers are impressive, but I also thought the fact that 25,000 people applied for 325 job openings which Mr. Will glossed right over, said a lot more about the state of our economy.

Saturday, September 02, 2006

All Pony, All The Time

Yesterday was one of those days. It was one of those days when the forces of depression and despair make a strong assault against the forces of hope and happiness in the never ending civil war for control of Townser’s mind. Their little battering rams bashing against my frontal lobe. Yesterday my daughter turned four. This is the daughter who I have probably spent less than eight months time with under the same roof. This is the daughter, with her Shirley Temple curls, her Mother’s eyes, and impish grin from God knows where, who owns my heart. This is the daughter with health issues that stop her from doing the things that normal girls her age would do, but that does not seem to mind as she is far from a normal girl. As I sit 600 miles away and ache, I try not to think about what brought me to this point. I try not to think about all the bad decisions, mistakes, and lies. I try to be happy. Frankly, I am not. I wish I could make things right, and I wish that I could turn back the clock, but more than anything I hope that my kids can understand how much I care about them.

This was the pony birthday; the birthday where all she wanted was a pony, a live one and a stuffed one. As she said, “I want one for the backyard and one for inside the house” which makes perfect sense in a four year old mind. Hell, it makes perfect sense in my mind. Unfortunately, she had to settle for a stuffed unicorn that she could ride or at least pretend to ride. Fortunately, she did not seem to mind. As I sat last night watching the grainy images through my web cam of her wearing her pink cowgirl boots, straw hat and a smile as big as Texas while riding her unicorn, I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream, but instead I smiled and I laughed because that was the right thing to do. I thought a good night’s sleep would cure me, of course I have not had a good night’s sleep in years, so I woke up today and hurt even more. I just want it to stop.

Happy Birthday Soph.

Saturday, August 19, 2006

Please Make It Stop

I have to question Michelle Malkin’s indignation over the “fauxtography’ scandal currently being frothed about throughout the blogosphere and in her recent column (These Media Ostriches Totally Miss the Picture). As a Journalism major, I am appalled that photographers are photoshopping and staging pictures to, in her opinion, “foment” more hatred, but is she not missing the forest for the tress? She speaks of corpses being manipulated; are these still not CORPSES! She is in a tizzy over more smoke being added to a photo of a bombed out section of Beirut. Again, Beirut has still been bombed! We are still talking about real destruction and death.

She then goes on her typical rant against the liberal media elites who manipulate messages to change reality. Michelle, who controls the majority of the media in this country? I believe Rupert Murdoch and the Rev. Moon have a very large sphere of influence. Is it not enough for you that Tony Snow is the Press Secretary? Is it not enough for you that your supposed “liberal media elite” have let the President lead us into an unjust war and vastly curtail our liberties while running roughshod over the Constitution with little or no journalistic oversight? Do you lust for a Police state where opinions and voices are quashed? Or is your indignation possibly a bit of a diversion when things are going badly for you and your fellow Conservative Hawks during your Global War on Terror?

C'mon Michelle, at least Ann gives us some comedic value. I need more schtick!

Picture from

Sunday, July 23, 2006

Townser Luvs Him Some I.R.S.

My children were battling for supremacy of the cul-de-sac this afternoon as I struggled to digest the Sunday Times. Between random blood lettings and fratricide I happened upon a wonderful little story buried in the depths of section A. It seems that a bunch of auditors at the IRS were about to lose their jobs. Like many of you, my first reaction was good riddance, but then I realized these were not just any auditors, these were the people that had the assignment of auditing the richest of the rich, in particular those guilty of possible tax evasion with regard to mishandling large estates. I looked to the heavens and thought when will this shit ever end. Realizing this was a futile act; I then looked at my Mom (as I am a proud dweller of her basement) and said, “When is this shit ever going to end? When are people going to realize that this country is being run by a bunch of crooked morons whose only interest is in padding their pockets and the pockets of their closest friends?” The word ‘shit’ is a little too blue for my Mother, so I did not want to shock her anymore with anything harsher than moron. Anyway, I realized that act was not going to get me anywhere, so after chaining my kids back in the closet, I retired to the basement to vent. Here I sit. Obviously, this act is not going to get me anywhere either, but it feels so much better than swearing to my dear old Mum.

My basic beef is still with us, the American people. We are idiots, we have been sold a big steaming pile of shit (the conservative platform) yet we keep coming back for more. Here in the Heartland we have many of what I like to call the wanna-be cons. These are the people who make 80k a year, but spend 90k. These are the people who believe that they fall into that magic 5% that are benefiting from this disastrous administration. In their minds, they are the rich bluebloods down at the country club knocking back gin fizzes with the Walkers and the Bushes when in fact they are much closer to snorting meth with Cletus and all the little Cletii down at the Double Wide C.C. These people do not understand that they are truly not benefiting from these tax breaks, they are not benefiting from rampant Government spending with little or no control. Massive deficits, be damned. Who cares about the future, live in the now. Sadly, I learned that lesson (see exhibit A: pissed off ex-wife, failed business, lost $$$$). We need to be accountable for our actions, we need to live and consume responsibly, we need to pay our fair share of taxes, and sadly, we need government oversight. I never thought I would believe this, but even government oversight in the form of IRS auditors.

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

GWOT of Babel

It is July 4th and I am angry. I am angry about many things. I am angry about decisions that I have made, I am angry about things I have said and done, I am angry about things I have not said and done, but most of all I am angry at us, the feeble sheep that compose the US electorate. It was G.K. Chesterton that wrote:

Beware of men and of movements that speak the language of
Babel. Regardless of whether they are Communists or Fascists, Universalists or Deists, Socialists or Capitalists, Alchemists or Templars, Liberals or Conservatives: beware of their New World Order; beware of their Peace In Our Time; beware of their Fraternal Harmony; beware of their Novus Ordo Saeculorum. It is merely part and parcel of that same Tower of Babel impulse which God cursed so long ago. It is merely a new sprig from the primordial root of humanism: man seizing his own destiny and making a name for himself in the annals of history.

We have fallen prey to just such men, and just such movements. As the voting public we should be ashamed. We should be ashamed of our irresponsible actions in electing Herr W not once but twice. We should be ashamed of our imperialist actions, we should be ashamed of our dwindling liberties, and we should be ashamed of our complacent media. Frankly, we should be ashamed of what we have become. We fashion ourselves as intelligent beings that care about the ‘little guy’ and only seek to create peace and harmony. In reality, we are thugs. We have little desire to help the downtrodden. We have little desire to help the suffering. We care only about the size of our paychecks, the size of our homes, and the size of our cars. Should we be surprised that other nations see us as a bigger threat to their safety than Iran or North Korea? Probably not.

Simply put, we are never going to eradicate evil in this world; we are never going to spread peace. I won’t even get into the hypocrisy of the whole peace through bigger armaments debate. By design, this country was not meant to have imperialistic leanings yet in the past 6 plus years we have attempted to undo 200 years of history. We have erased scads of goodwill and turned allies into near-enemies. How much more are we going to take?

Friday, June 09, 2006

In Which the Jousting Begins...

I originally created this blog to be a forum to display arguments that I have been having with an old friend, Mr. Regicide. Reggie and I were high school chums in the land of the nouveau riche and have recently reconnected after not seeing each other for 20 years. We share several hobbies, including hatred for divorce attorneys, paying child support, and of course our passion for curling. The attached series of emails highlight a battle from yesterday in which I commented on the frame surrounding the photo of Al-Zarqawi’s death mask.


Was the frame really necessary!?!?!

In all seriousness, I am excited by this. However, my excitement is tempered by the fact that this creates a leadership vacuum among this lovely little group. I think how this void is filled, or if it can be eliminated, is very important.



We killed Uday and Qusay for the power vacuum issue too.

Yeah, it's a concern. But we did take out quite a lot of his dudes lately, as well as eleven simultaneous raids yesterday apparently. Best of all, we got that red headed firebrand propagandist too, who supposedly was one of the few who could write the rhetoric in such a way as to justify what they were doing and inspire the troops. So, all in all, I say: "awesome"!

Chuck Schumer better suit up and get Osama himself or the Republicans are going to roll in November. We got terrorism, and we got immigration.


Easy there big fella. The threat of the horrid “brown masses” has legs in the heartland, but does not wash in the highly populated coasts. Also, as important as today’s kill was, it does not erase the disaster that has been our occupation of
not to mention high petrol prices.


Oh, here we go again.

The horrid "brown masses" is very racist, and to offset the suggestion that we're anti-biggest-minority-voting-block, check what we did in Detroit today. We got 63 illegal whities, and they're going back to Eastern Europe.

It'll be fairly easy to play to the heart strings of the East coast leftists when we begin to remind the coastals that the Chinese are enslaved in their basements taking jobs from poor neglected beaten drunk mothers of ten babies. The West coast leftists are definitely concerned about immigration already.

We're not occupying Iraq, everybody knows that. Their government asked us to stay, plain and simple. The vast majority of Iraqis are glad we gave them freedom, but only conservation shows report this. NPR was asked why they never report good news. NPR replied, "Our reporters go to dangerous places and can only report on what they see." NPR was asked why they haven't reported on the number of schools and hospitals built. NPR replied "our reporters go to dangerous places and haven't been able to go to see new schools." Then NPR said "a lot of Iraq still doesn't have electricity, oh the Republican caused horror of it all!" Then NPR was reminded that much of Iraq didn't have electricity before the war.......

That reminds me of a stupid rainbow-green-hippie commercial I saw the other day. The commercial kept flashing various minority, ethnic type people with the occasional white person thrown in demanding to know why the oil companies weren't investing significantly in alternative energies. Uhhhhh, because they're OIL COMPANIES???????? Where the fuck is it written that Exxon has to invest in solar power??? Where the fuck is it written that we have to rebuild Iraq better than it was before???

Yep, high gas prices have absolutely a direct correlation to Republicans. It's as provable and justifiable as anything. Good thing the intended audience for that correlation has no understanding of supply and demand and emerging global economies.

If the dems cared about oil, simply point out their policies over the last thirty years since the gas shortages of the seventies. Where has the leadership been? Sure, Republicans are in power now, so it's easy to blame the now.

Kill Zarqawi --> gas prices fall

Give tech to Iran --> gas prices fall

Throw Chavez a bone --> gas prices fall

By November, gas will be cheap, bet on it ;)


Unfortunately, I cannot find the link to your Detroit story, so I will have to take your word for it. Apparently, Al-Zarqawi is dead, in case you have not heard. In my search for the latest news in the Great Lakes region, I was able to find out that a man in Steubenville, OH was convicted of his 17th DUI. I had to read the story to make sure they were not talking about REDACTED!

I certainly disagree with your assessment that we are not occupying Iraq, and by assuming that everyone knows that, you are greatly overestimating our great population. I guess my invitation from the Iraqi government to the “Please Blow Up Our Country and Then Rebuild It” Ball got lost in the mail. Damn, USPS, whatever happened to “come rain or snow, or whatever the fuck there stupid slogan was” anyway? I believe we went there for two reasons. One valid—Oil, and one not so valid—Bush’s desire to seek revenge/complete the job Papa failed to complete. I fail to see them as a threat, unlike Osama, and I fail to see this war (although “war” has never been declared) as just or valid. Personally, I would be much more comfortable if we just admitted our true goal, which is oil and lots of it. I can accept that, I truly can. I cannot accept the whole liberation, nation building, democracy thing. Let’s just call it for what it is-a grab for oil. The whole argument about an evil dictator is not valid. Take a look at the entire African continent, I see lots of evil dictators there, but why are we not liberating those poor souls? Oh yeah, they do not have oil.

I have no argument against your assessment of the lame liberals vs. Exxon ad campaign. You are absolutely correct in calling “bullshit” on the ad. Exxon is a multinational corporation and their job is to make money. I do have a problem if (I could probably say “that “ instead of “if”, but Emperor Cheney will not allow the release of certain documents) Exxon and others of their ilk are helping to craft our energy policy as has been alleged, but not proven because of the incredible realm of secrecy surrounding our latest administration.

You have a very valid point about liberal policies that would promote responsible energy use. As best as I can tell, the only thing the libs have accomplished is denying companies from constructing new refineries that could actually be helping us right now! In the process of “protecting” the environment, we have also made harvesting energy from, wind, water, or nuclear means nearly impossible as well. Yours is the party of big business, and the repubs will have to answer to the high gas prices, whether they deserve to or not.

As for your last point about pandering to the simpletons of the rural areas (if that is what you are saying), Gawd bless you. The cons have done an amazing job of convincing a bunch of people that should never vote republican to vote republican simply by convincing them that the dems are going to ruin the American way of life. Whether or not these individuals have any idea as to what the American way of life is or was is dubious at best. My hat is off to you and your ilk for that coup. Just please do not expect me to house Cletus and all the little Cletuses when those $5.25 an hour jobs at Wally World fail to put meth on the table or a roof on the shanty.


Detroit round-up:

We're not occupying Iraq, everybody knows that. Every left leaning reporter with access to a dictionary and a history book knows that. Do the sixty million idiots who vote for American Idol know that? --> Who cares, they don't vote anyway, and they'll just simply access what life presents to them.

We're not in Iraq for the oil, plain and simple. Show me one gallon that we brought back with our army. Show me the conquering, ravaging, horrible army of yore that we are.

America's foreign policy is very simple, we export stability. We stabilize regions by promoting democracy, which empowers the people. Why do we do this? Very simple --> money. Money, not oil. We need stable regions in which we can invest and reasonable expect to recoup our expenses. It's good business. Why are we anti-Cuban? The banana business.

I would ask any left leaning reporter to: Name five good things Saddam did? Name five bad things Saddam did? Is the world a better place now that Saddam has been deposed?

The world is so much more complicated than Republicans vs. Democrats, it's just ridiculous to continuously see the same faces lining up on opposite sides of every single issue.

Here's a thought:

What if Zarqawi was martyred intentionally? What if the person who ratted him out (he was the person responsible for finding safe houses for Zarqawi) was told to do so? We've been after Zarqawi for a while, his days were numbered. Now, we just gave one of his insiders the $25 million reward. Where's the money going to go?


Sunday, June 04, 2006

Problems of the Heart

Well, I guess I have put this off long enough as countless ones of you are eagerly awaiting my first post. As I write this from my parents’ basement, Ma and Pa are enjoying a quiet afternoon at the hospital because my Dad lost feeling in his left arm during church (I guess that is what you deserve for wasting a perfectly miserable, rainy Sunday morning surfing pews). He has had a history of heart problems thus the doctors have opted for a CAT scan. I warned them not to use the cardiologist with the fresh degree from our beloved world wide web, but what do I know?

Speaking of problemes de coeur, I noticed this morning over at Common Dreams that those pesky Iraqis are having some issues with our little nation building project. Seems they have lost faith in our leadership skills and feel we might, gasp, not have their best intentions in mind. One, Abdullah Hussein, an engineer in Baghdad, said “First they lied about weapons of mass destruction, then there was the Abu Ghraib prison abuse scandal and now it’s clear to the world they were guilty in Haditha.” Wait just a minute there buddy, I thought it was only those bastards in the liberal American media that were allowed to aid the enemy with that kind of blasphemous talk. How about showing our proud journos a little respect? Let’s keep that treasonous yapping to our side of the pond, please.