Consumption

Kill me now!!!!!!

We Need a Spine, STAT!!!!

Above: America's finest attempt to resuscitate our world standing

After my latest onslaught of bullshit personal ramblings, self-centered whining, and general blubbering, I figured it was time to try to get back to some small amount of political commentary. And while, the shithouse in Washington has given me plenty of fodder for the small caliber varmint gun that is what’s left of my brain, I cannot help but focus on the bigger, perhaps biggest picture topic which is the future leadership possibilities of our once great nation. In watching the political contortionists that are the current slate of Presidential candidates, I cannot help but cry out, would someone just fucking stand up and lead this country! We need a leader, not someone that is going to kowtow to every special interest group regardless of size and/or relevancy (yes, I’m talking to you Fundamentalists!!!!). We need someone to provide some vision, someone to restore hope in our country. We need new life injected into our public discourse. We need to limit the divisiveness and try to move forward. We need someone who can convince the rest of the world that we are not the self-centered assholes that they think we are. I know some of you are going to be shocked to find out that there are more important issues than whether or not every fertilized egg should be brought into this world, or whether or not the poor and needy should be aided by public funds, or whether or not other countries should be allowed to develop nuclear weapons. Frankly, all of those issues are irrelevant because none of us are going to be around long enough for any of those things to matter if American leadership does not step up and lead this world back from the brink. We need a leader that will stop the say one thing and do another rhetoric that flows from easily the most despicable group of individuals to ever wander the halls of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. Our natural resources are a finite resource. We have passed the legitimate point of sustainability in terms of population on this planet. Steps need to be taken to control the population, expand alternative energy options, and control pollution. Sadly, the only country in the world in any position to do this is America. Despite all the goodwill we have wasted over the past seven years, we need to take that leadership role and run with it. If not us, who? If not now, when? (Don’t ever tell me I didn’t learn anything at those bullshit sales conferences…) For the love of God and all things Holy, would someone step up and lead!

I’m looking at you, Barack. Get this done.

Update: Boy, it looks like we're off to a really good start...

Soul Sickness

Look me in the eye
And tell me that I’m satisfied
Were you satisfied?
Look me in the eye
Then, tell me I’m satisfied
And now are you satisfied?

Everything goes
Well, anything goes all of the time
Everything you dream of
Is right in front of you
And everything is a lie (or) and liberty is a lie

-The Replacements ‘Unsatisfied’

It’s fruitless. The way we live our lives is fruitless. We are wrong and we need to change. We are headed in the wrong direction at breakneck speed. My biggest regret in life is that I brought children into this world. Yes, I love them dearly and would do anything for them, but I fear for their future. I fear what the world will be like when (if) they reach old age because the direction our planet is headed is toward uninhabitability. How do I explain this fact to them? What do I tell them when that day comes? How do I explain to them that consumption is wrong and that we need to seek renewable ways to feed ourselves, to heat and cool our homes, to locomote ourselves, basically, to exist? My greatest fear is that they might ask me why; why I made the selfish decision to put them on this earth even though I knew that the place I was bringing them was not a good place. I will not have a valid answer to that question. Because your Mother wanted to is unacceptable. Do I level with them and say, I’m sorry and it was selfish. I did it for a woman I no longer live with and who no longer wants me. Maybe I should just lie and say I did not know any better. Sadly, I knew better. One thing I will do is from this moment forward do all I can to consume less and give back more. To walk when I can, to drive less, to garden more, to eat out less, to educate others, to hold my tongue with less frequency in the face of perceived wrongs, to act rather than think or fret, to care, to love, to spread ideas of sustainability, to convince that there is no tomorrow and that now is the time to act. Maybe that will help me with the guilt and the soul sickness that has so plagued my life.

See this film.

Pretty Girl from the Record Store

With all due respect to the Avett Brothers, isn’t it alright to fall in lust upon first sight? It happened yesterday. Why am I always drawn to the weird ones? This one is part owner of a record store. Talk about a bad situation, I spend enough money on music that I should be placed in rehab or at least the focus of some sort of intervention.

It’s alright, Townser, put the vinyl down and we can talk about things…

Just admit to yourself that you have a problem, it’s the first step…

You really don’t need the entire pre-1985 SST catalog. You are using it as a crutch…

As per usual, we’ll have to wait and see how this one sorts itself out. Call me a pessimist, but I believe I already know the answer to that query.

Loneliness Revisited

She said I have lots of friends. I said no, I have lots of acquaintances. She said I was parsing. I said what does this have to do with ill tasting garnishes? She said shut up. She was right, I should shut up. But I was right I only have acquaintances. A friend is someone that you can relate your wishes, desires, fears, phobias, and needs to without worries of judgment, negativity, or laughter. An acquaintance is someone at the bar who is happy to see you. Case closed.

Hat in Hand

It seemed like forever as I held the door at the county Human Services building. Each crutch step allowed him to progress about three inches. What have I gotten myself into? Of course my first thoughts were about me; typically selfish to a fault. He was muttering about being late because of the time change. I didn’t have the heart to tell him that Daylight Savings had started about three weeks ago. He was wearing tattered sweat pants, a heavy flannel shirt, an Elmer Fudd-esque hunting cap with Tom Cruise style Ray Bans placed on the outside of the ear covers. But the thing I noticed most was the smile on his face. It was huge.

The wonder of the human condition, here I am with seemingly everything going for me, the world at my fingertips, so to speak, yet completely miserable. And here is this physically destroyed human being with a soul that shines so brightly it impacts everyone around him. He entered the lobby and continued to thank me as he said hello to all of the people in the waiting room as well as the employees. Suddenly I found myself grinning. I couldn’t help it; it was like some sort of virus and as I looked around the room it seemed to be spreading.

I had arrived at the building with hat in hand in order to apply for assistance in buying a home through the county. Needless to say, as a college educated individual with a post graduate degree I did not feel that great about the whole process. I should be able to take care of this myself, but frankly, I cannot. The nature of my financial situation because of debt load due to a failed business, divorce settlement and current occupation make me eligible for this program, so what the heck? I’m sure there are plenty of folks out there who would not agree with me getting such an opportunity, but they probably would not agree with my gentle friend from the parking lot getting assistance either. Although apprehensive, my appointment went well. I don’t know if I will be accepted into the program or not, but the experience was both humbling and rewarding. The topper was that I had the honor of holding the door for the same man as he exited the building and we continued our conversation about the mysterious loss of an hour. He eventually entered a waiting transport vehicle and I walked to my car with tears streaming down my cheeks. I’m not certain where those tears were born, maybe; just maybe, they were tears of hope for humanity, of hope for renewal, of hope for me.