Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Soul Sickness, Part 2

The one thing that I have determined as I struggle with the decision about whether or not to move back to Ohio is that it is taking the fun out of the rest of my life. It has become all-consuming and utterly energy draining. Very positive things have been happening to me from a vocational perspective and yet, I have nothing. No palpable excitement, no sense of accomplishment, and no satisfaction for the fruits of my labor. Why do I continue to let her affect me this way? I wish I could say that I am done letting her win, but she has already won the most important battle; she controls the kids. She controls my access to them and she controls the way they view their father. A week ago I would have given her the benefit of the doubt as to whether she would intentionally use the kids against me. Obviously, her behavior has altered my thinking on that topic. I always thought she would be above it. Apparently not…

No comments: